it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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