i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize