Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
