no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I fill condoms, not promises.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
