This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
