Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
