I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I believe in your delicious
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
