I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm getting married
To pizza
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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