Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
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I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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