my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm determined to sit on that face.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
