GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
