I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
