So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
