I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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