he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
