you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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