I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
