I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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