Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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