Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can't put those talents on a resume
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
