I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
