you're like a bully in the Christmas story
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
