Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize
