Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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