i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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