There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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