She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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