my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
they need to just BURY HIM!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
