I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
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