Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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