Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
