This girl is more easily done than said...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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