His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It was like getting head from an anaconda
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?