never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
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what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
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Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.