I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now