I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash