i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
