i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
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i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
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You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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