there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
