I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
