I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
