I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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