Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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