whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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