just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
