yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
