well you can't waste a boner
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize