just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
