You're so nebulous sometimes
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
