I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
