What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
