I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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