i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
