i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
