I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
