Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
