I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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