standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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