I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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