i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
