i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
